That’s right. It’s been a long long time since I have the time (and energy) to sit down and turn my free-thoughts into words. Last entry was nearly 2 months ago, in between which I was burning the whole lot just to stay alive. What I often said recently was, last year I tried everything I could to stay away from spending the night at the lab, yet this year all I’m hoping for is just to survive the week. For a sleep-enthusiastist like me, 7-hour sleep seemed luxurious these days. Once on my way home I was thinking/talking to myself, something I’ve been doing a lot lately. I thought about Pa and Tang’s words. I can still remember clearly when Pa was telling his story to a bunch of medical rookies during an interview, he talked about how hard he had to work in the begining of his medical career, and one of the reason that he survived those wake-you-up-in-the-middle-of-the-night hardship was because he was "young." What Tang said to me, after he finding out my age, was that age 25-30 is the best time for a researcher to learn. They are both right. I have been living on the edge (4-5 hour of sleep/day, working endlessly while awake) for about half a year now, and my body has been very cooperative and supportive. I couldn’t imagine my body withstanding similar type of grinding without crashing down in the past. Last time I pushed my body to the limit my back protested and a disc gave up. I can see why in the western world this a good time to get a job, build a family, or start a new career, because at this time of life, a person can thrust with utmost strength without holding-back and tumble with a brand-new tomorrow. This is probably the best time to live fearlessly. All those heroic phrases, game’s on the line, chips on the table, crunch time, show time, nothing to lose, impossible is nothing, just do it, the whole nine yards, are meant for this time around. The interns and residents like Pa burn their candles for the fundamentals of their career, and me? I am spending nearly 15 hours a day working on something I am not sure if I even care about in this so-called Prime Time.
However, one thing is for sure. For whatever that is I will be holding up smiling in the future, I know the reason that I will be doing that is because of NOW. So beside all these mini-tiny-micro-nano molecules occupants, I have also be filling my life up with aspects that I definitely care about. And therefore, tennis, hiking, philosophy of life, and yes, politics. I’d love to throw music into the mix, but just a few hours of a week just can’t crack the shelf. I’ve also got a part-time job of writing baseball columns for a mobile phone web company, which allows me to taste in a tiny way of what it feels like to get paid to do something I enjoy. Yet more importantly, I am assigned to write baseball columns regarding MLB and World Baseball Classic, which aren’t the sharpest instrument I have (NBA that is). So in a graceful way, I had to use my secondaries to make the ends meet. A life’s lesson really, opportunities ain’t always gonna be there at the peak. When the window of opportunity is finally right there in front of you, you still have to find your way to the knob and turn with the brewing skill in order to fly. For now I feel that I have the ability to turn the knob, but yet to have the ability to soar. As much as I love sport, I still couldn’t do the sport lotto as the opportunity presented.
On politics, something that I just couldn’t ignore. Jeff once said "I don’t watch politics in Canada because it is boring; I don’t watch politics in Taiwan because it pisses me off." It was funny at the moment, and it is very true in its way, but I just can’t sit there and watch all these chaos with my arms crossed like it’s none of my business. In the process of observing and learning, I am truely grateful that I am born and live as a Taiwanese. The Canadian me resides in such peaceful and steady life that really, as Jeff’s described, not nearly as worth devoting for as to making an influence. To me, it would be of much greater accomplishment to spread the words of human right/critical thinking to people of Taiwan than in Canada because that’s the concept desperately needed. It’s like volunteer medical service in KMU Taiwan or General Hospital, Malawei? The comparison is bold and vivid. As a Taiwansese of this era I have the privilage to witness and participate the power of people’s voice. I’ve always wanted to make an influence ever since inspired by Sir Charles’ book. In process of reading BillyPan’s blog I truely experienced how much impact a single indivdual can have, simply by writing (powered by ultra-human intelligence…). In the turmoil of Taiwan politics, with the disappointment of pro-independents and reclaimed power of pro-unifications, it has definitely been frustrating and often inflaming to examine these issues straight on. However, I do not choose to ignore. In the mist of unification signs and movements, there have always been people like Aquia et al. to keep my head up high. The most endearing moments actually weren’t the ear thumbing slogan, or that heart pumping chant. It’s that soothing "it’s not your fault, son" attitude that really reminded me of the man’s most original support: religion, faith, and belief. Not greed, not scams, not revengence. Just a belief in what’s worth fighting for, worth living for. And with that, I have the choice to live like every others, or the life with my believes. I believe in making an influence at where it cannot be replaced. And therefore I am.